Sunshine on A Cigarette


“Ahh Sunshine, even brighter than the… actually scratch that; It’s impossible. Pass me another cigarette, would you?”

“You don’t smoke.”

“I could smoke.”

“No, you couldn’t.”

Are they fighting again?

“Who says I’m gonna smoke it anyway?”

“So why do you want one?”

“To stop you smoking them.”

Really? Why can’t they just get on?

“Greedy! Besides I’ve got plenty.”

“Me too. I could sell them.”

“To who?”

“…back to you when you eventually run out.”


Hang on, I’m going to have to sort these guys out.

“Oh, look out. Here she comes.”

“She’s always so happy, isn’t she?”

“It’s probably because of you. I think you’re her favourite.”

Now, what are you guys up to? Where’s me lighter? Oh, there it is. Do you want a carry?

“I think I am too. Then again you cry every time she lights up.”

“I can’t breathe properly around that.”

“Takes practice. Quite nice when you get used to it.”

“I don’t like it.”

Someone has a slight cold. Calpol when we get in?

“Why don’t you tell her?”

“I will, when I can speak her language properly.”

“How far have you got so far?”

Can you say Mama?

“Quite far, listen… Mama …. Da…. Doggydog.”

“Oh, she likes that, look she’s gonna pick you up instead.”

“Ha, I’m the new favourite. Here I go. Save me a cigarette. I’ll be back soon.”

Excuse Me


As a kid, I wished I had one of those stop watches – you know the ones? You hit stop and time stands still for everyone except you. I remember thinking how great that would be. The things I would get done.

As a kid, it would be the homework and the cramming for that all important test, then show up the next day, ace it and come off as some sort of genius.

Now as an adult, the extra hours I could grab each morning before I rise from my pit and go to work. The freedom to meet deadlines without the constant bother from friends, family, bosses.

Again, those people would be so amazed by what I had achieved and how I had done it (come to think of it, it’s possible that some people I know, may already own such a watch).

Its only now that I feel that this magical wonder watch is not so much of a blessing.

I mean for starters it’s not as though I don’t age. Every time I hit stop, the people around me enter a cryogenic beauty sleep as I, the weary traveller, trundle on with my day’s duties without ever questioning why.

It feels like the watch would be used to compensate for all the crappy decisions that I made in life!

If I truly enjoy my job and the people around me then what is to be gained by purposefully avoiding that?

Thing is, many people don’t enjoy their jobs and will make excuses as to why they do what they do, or they can’t stand the people that they spend the majority of their time around but are quite adept at conjuring reasons why they engage with these negative influences on a daily basis.

It’s not time that needs to stop, it’s the excuses.

Recognise that behind the smokescreen of ‘I can’t’ lies a scared trembling heart of ‘I won’t’, and that heart pumps perfectly crafted made-up reasons why ‘you won’t’ round your mind, till they seem perfectly feasible.

If you really want to take time out then do it whilst the world is active and going on around you.

Just observe.

Appreciate the people, choices and situations that enrich and help make you the happiest most powerful version of yourself and also recognise the self-inflicted cancer you subject yourself to – and know that this is entirely your choice.

If you hate your job then get a different one.

If you don’t like being in the company of certain people then don’t!

The people you naturally gravitate toward are also the people who are attracted to you.

This was written in a café, on a beautiful sunny day.

I have hugged a friend, helped an elderly lady with her breakfast tray, smiled at several people and had several smiles and compliments in return. For 15 minutes I was truly part of life, and I smile in eager anticipation for what the next fifteen minutes has in store.

How long has it been???  Not wanting to get too personal here I’ll say a while… ages…. too long… probably.

I write this post on the 4th December at my home in sunny south shields. It’s taken a while to adapt to my new writing environment but getting back on track.

The Trouble With Time Travel novel is going well and I am expecting the first draft to be complete this side of Christmas, then again I’m also expecting my Christmas shopping to be carried out by well-meaning pixies, so let us see how that pans out; my hopes are high.

In the meantime, I still start out every writing session with a bit of free form (Sit down and write the first thing that comes into my head, mistakes welcome…) and I thought I’d share today’s little adventure. I think it could be the beginning of something interesting??

As always your thoughts and opinions are welcome TTFN x

Out In A Minute

“Wake up Daisy”
No movement.
The usual flaring of her nostrils every time she took in enough oxygen to starve a forest fire… Absent.
“We need you, Daisy please”
No flicker in her eyes.
The stains from the tears that ran through the damns of mascara caked to her face made her look more like an ancient porcelain artifact than a recently deceased mother of four.
“What do we do?”
This question was not directed at Daisy, but more about her.
The question was answered by the other gentleman in the room.
“Well she can’t stay here”
“Oh good, I’ll just ask her to move!”
“You know what I mean”
The other gentleman moved slightly closer and crouched over the body.
“You sure she’s dead?”
The question was met with a sarcastic snigger.
“I could ask her, and while I’m at it, ask if her cup was the one with the poison in. If she answers we’ve got a result!”
The other man nodded standing upright and straightening his tie and the name badge on his lapel:
John Plonkett – Happy to Help
“How long before she’s missed?”
Stanley the junior office assistant stood up shaking his head “Not long John. Let’s see, her four children and two sisters are on the shop floor waiting to pick her up. I’d say five minutes, three with bad behavior.”

The shop Tannoy kicked into action “Daisy Rutherford please report to the customer service desk”.

“I stand corrected, about two minutes”

To be continued…………………………

ImageIts been a little while since I posted on here. Working on my new novel has been all consuming. As usual I woke this morning knowing that my story would progress, become richer and satisfy my expressive desires. Not only that, my children would have a continuation of the tale they have thankfully taken such an interest.

My body and brain however had other ideas, waking with flu and a sleeping head. I started with a bit of free form writing, some of which I thought I’d share. Its a mental snapshot of my state of mind. I hope you enjoy. All comments welcome as usual x



Speak but don’t make a sound,

The message received with indifference

The voice that listens but has no opinion

Don’t try when you can help the stampede

Charging whilst sitting still

I’m in there


The cage that had lifted in my mind


A brief look at life after death has left me in a state of panic searching for life within life.

It’s all a matter of perception

Or so I’ve been told

The veil that clouds my mind darkens

The strength once so powerful and full of purpose

Replaced by an apologetic IOU

Maybe tomorrow

I will wake

Maybe Tomorrow.

ImageI do tend to write the most random things.

Normally I save all my random thoughts and use them to create something hopefully worthy of future investigation. Usually they provide me with inspiration for a short story or novel. I thought i’d post some of the rambling free form in its raw form.

Doing some free-form writing a couple around 2am last night I came up with the following….


Fragmented Thoughts


People in my head

Wandering the desolate landscape my consciousness has laid out for its own pleasure

For whom every waking moment leaves you yearning for sleep

Form an orderly queue

Dreams are not the perfection you were promised

For perfection once it reaches attainability

Becomes Life

The waking world awaits us

Follow me

The lost prophet has an now has an a to z

Its possible I just get Weirder…. Or maybe not, there was a time when the greatest minds on the planet thought the world was round…. oh it is round??

Right well few bits from today’s free form ramblings:

Tripping through the lost moments of the morning I stumbled across the only rain drop left from months and tears of bad weather in this country.
As a nation we like to complain.
I think that attitude is both amplified and watered down in my family.
It made me think, can we fix the worlds ailments by simply helping ourselves and our own immediate family.
The only situation where the dry run can be more satisfying than the final show.

My next post will be one of my short horror stories, hope you enjoy x

So every morning I get up and do an insanity workout, but before that some free form writing just to wake my mind up from its restful slumber.

Free Form writing is a lot of fun and doesn’t have to make any sense at all but ideas are often started from here. I simply sit down and write…. anything …. usually the first words that come into my head, not caring if they make any sense.

This mornings was interesting. Its usually a very private affair but have selected a bit of today’s free form to share make of it what you will……….

Free form 10 Aug…….

Thoughts possess you and your guide does not necessarily live together with all powerful sandwiches cheese ham lettuce mayo,…. Life’s ingredients have a bitter sweet harmony rarely matched by my pet dog Alfie whose constant panting would make a rather unsavoury phone call to the wrong recipient.

Open the well to your own imagination, drop in a penny, make a wish and follow it down.

See how it glides almost effortless in its pursuance of your dream.


Watch as the penny settles, as it joins the orderly queue formed by its predecessors. The wise learned coin welcomed by the former incarnations of itself and given free passage to the front.

Onlookers stare in amazement as the coin moves up, joining with others, becoming bigger, brighter, bolder, creating a single thought floating on a single stream.

Smile as the coins rays radiate into your soul giving you renewed energy, self worth and new purpose.


Welcome to my head, in the next post i’ll share a short horror story i recently wrote which started life as a free form thought. Hope you enjoyed. All comments and thoughts welcome

free form writing

My mind in the mornings looks like this

Paul x